Renovation of house-a way to ‘tiny little freedom’

This is not an article for how to renovate your house; this is just a post to share my experience of actually what happens when you are renovating your house.

Renovation-current state of my room

What is one like when you have to sit in one room, with no contact outside and you cannot even watch television because your house is in the phase of renovation? It is really not a good view as there is nothing much to do except reading and reading, which I think is not bad for a person like me; but then your surroundings matter a lot while reading.

My whole house has turned upside down with all the stuffs scattered here and there; it is like sudden jolt hit my home and creates a topsy-turvy state.    Every day, when labors arrive; this is always early at morning; I have to lock myself in one room and if I do not have to go anywhere, it just makes it better (read: worse). I was always against the idea of renovation; though it is good for home to bring a new life but then meanwhile you have to sacrifice your sleeping place, ‘me time’; hence with benefits come some ‘unwanted perks’ 🙂 that you are simple not ready to embrace it with a happy face.  You cannot walk freely from one room to another because of the cement work on the floors that can be destroyed if you walk continuously over there. Then non-stop noise of the labors who cannot converse in low-tone voice, even if it’s a simple conversation between them, they speak so loudly that you can hear from faraway. You have to sacrifice your personal space and cannot wear your casual attire, especially in the apartment where the rooms are so closed to each other that if you want to roam around, you will come across with any of these workers. Your washroom is used by these workers and after every two hours, they want tea (though this is a bit over exaggeration).

There are many bad points which I can count on the tip of my fingers, but every coin has two sides. So, there is a good side of it as well. If  I am in home, so I can sleep as much as I want because there is nothing to do 🙂 I can sit on my laptop and my mother is not there to scold me;  in the meantime, my kitchen is also not in the condition to be used, and thanks to ‘take aways’ that I do not have to starve myself, rather I can eat as much as I want and this is one of the best excuses I can make for not eating my ‘regular meal’.  They seem small but this little freedom I really cherish.

However, the excitement of having a renewed room is something I am looking forward to, because all this will not matter when finally I will step into my more refined room, having old furniture of course :).No,  my parents are not so generous to buy everything new, for now it’s just floors and walls. On other hand, the more bizarre work is to set the house again; I know this is not the exciting part—hope to get over soon with this nightmare 🙂

You Mean a World to Me!

It’s your birthday, you are just about to cut the cake, but your eyes are fixed on your mobile and in that instant, a blink of light is flashed through the screen that indicates ‘Abbu is calling’; excitedly you pick up the call to hear the birthday wish from your father.  This is one of the best gifts for your D-day.  There are some children who live with their father and then there are those who have lost their fathers, but there is also one more facet-those fathers who have to live apart from their family due to monetary incentive.

My father lives in another country because of his job. It has never been an easy ride. There are moments when you miss your father but he cannot be there with you; even though you are one call away but this does not make up for his presence. I remember during my school days when I used to receive any award, I always wanted my father to see me but it was never possible because of holiday problems. Even in my last convocation where I received a shield and my name was called out, I got teary eyed with happiness and longing for my father to be here and see me receiving an award.  In my birthdays, small gatherings and even in an evening cup of tea, I miss his presence… it’s not like I cannot talk to him but yes as the time passes, you wish more of your father’s company.

It is always those little moments that count a lot, like sitting with him and talking aimlessly about your favourite ice cream or movies. However my father still manages to make his presence felt by his calls, letters and infrequent visits to his home. When I was small, it was always about chocolate and gifts but then as I grow up and after spending a four month long time with him I found a very good friend in him with whom I can joke around and share my secrets. He understands my worries from my voice although I put up a smiley face in front of everyone, but he is the one who recognizes the concealed hesitation in my voice.

It is true that a relation of father and daughter shares a special bond-we are the apple of their eyes. He makes me feel like a princess and for any daughter; his father is an ideal man who supports her, look after her and gives her courage to face the harshness of the world.  He stands tall with full strength to protect you from any evil eye.

Whether it’s Eid, Ramadan or any special occasions or even any outing you plan for, you miss your abbu in those moments. It is true that father does not show love to their children like my abbu cannot express his utmost love to me and he never says that he loves me but his small gestures of care reflects the love he has for me. My father is very bad in giving blessing because of his struggle to choose right words, but deep down in my heart I know that words don’t matter, what matter is his pure love and support for me.

We are two sisters, and I remember my grandparents wanted a grandson but my father felt proud of having two little angels in his life. He used to ride on his shoulder on way back to our home. We have grown up and busy in our lives and get less time to talk but he always make it a point to call us so many times that we did not feel his absence.We love to watch TV and I vividly remember that we used to have a race that who will grab the remote first—this is what our relation was. He is witness to all my stories of first crush, my favourite teacher, my favourite movie and my horrible nightmares. He remembers the birth-date and religiously send the birthday card every year. To keep up this relation he makes all his efforts; I remember I made a burned chapatis and he ate all of it and even praise my effort… The time when he cried alone when he was not able to fulfill our wish, but only beamed with pleasure while making our wishes true.  We miss this beautiful relation that has made our life blissful.  I know he feels that we do not love him because we have a long distance relationship but for now, I want him to know that he is the best dad and will always be.

Today is not any father’s day but what difference does it make? It is all about appreciating your loved ones on each day and to make them feel special because after all you are their inspiration. Thank you Abbu for all the love and encouragement, you are the best father in entire world:)

Nothing is Permanent

I have always listened about downsizing but never experience it personally. Though, I never knew that it would be so depressing. It’s been a month and a half of my job; everything was going smoothly till last week, because this week I come across the most frustrating news and that is to lay off staffs from our office. The company I am talking is an online one, and the motive to slim down the staff is change in Google Policy; it has directly affected the HR policy of the company.  Soon the company realizes that people who are on-board are not good enough for the job, and for which reason the company needs more professionally sound staff in the marketing department, to promote their website on Internet.

It is not about slimming down the staff or hiring new ones, it is about the ambiance that is felt in the times of downsizing-a quite depressive atmosphere is observed all over the office. Even though everything is going at a normal routine but there is gloominess all around. The setback of ten people being reduced is not a small one; it is really huge number. However, for some it is not new because they have been working for long time and it has made them strong, they do not feel any grimness in the office, but for me as I am still a novice, this has really affected me. What is more miserable that even the permanent members; who have been working for three years are also targeted in this sad state of affair.  Working hard is the criteria to make your place in the line of your job, nevertheless at times; it may not be the case. However, mostly in private companies you witness this kind of shuffling which makes it clear that sometimes permanency does not provide assurance for your job. But then who is sure for the future.

This whole week has been in turmoil and it made me to come to the point that nothing is permanent in this world; it is only our false hope that makes us to build our house on sand, consequently it vanishes away as the water wipes it all away, and you are left alone with your tattered dreams… Having said that, not every tunnel has a darkness at the end and so we say, life goes on’ because that’s the way it works!


Relive your moments– Don’t let it pass by

You are born in this world and then you depart from here, what is left behind is the long journey you had during this time. Shakespeare imagined the world a stage, where everyone plays their character and then leaves when time finally come. Some leave early whereas some takes time. Though the time in between is what counts a lot, but in our journey, we are so imbibed in our daily routine that we forgo those moments which is actually a source of happiness to us. Moments that does not define our success or failure, it is only to revive us from our pitfalls which we faced while living a life.

What are those moments? And how do these moments become a source of happiness? To answer this, let me narrate a scene of a mother and child: when a child takes first step, this becomes one of the happiest moment for a mother even if she has gone through a bad day. Sounds cheesy! But this is a universal fact. Now move to a broader perspective; it’s your birthday and you did not expect anything to be grand because of your new place, but one of your colleagues’ give you surprise by giving birthday gift. Sometimes you are not expecting and you receive the biggest news of your life, which brings a big smile on your face. It is not important for something to be grand, a simple chit-chat at the dinner table in the evening with one’s family- a feeling of joy is surrounded with it.  There are many times where our joy is associated with our family, friends and bond shared between us. However, not only family and friends are the source of happiness, sometimes any scenery or any novel and even sighting birds are the reasons of your delight.

Having said that, the world is moving at fast pace and we all are in a rat-race of achieving high, criticizing each other by being harsh and taking our relationships for granted. We think that we can just have all these small moments at the end of our life because for now it’s just wasting our time, but that is it! How can we be so sure of having one of this later in our life? Therefore just have a cup of tea with your family, all sitting together and laughing their hearts out, because that is the pure contented life.

Learning to Overcome Fear

A universal emotion that is negatively perceived because it arises when you feel you are in danger. The causes of fear can be many for instance you are afraid of darkness, you are claustrophobic, hydrophobic, fear of living alone and fear of not achieving your dreams.  Everyone has some sort of fear that stays with them forever but at times people triumph over their weakness.

Although I have a phobia of creepy-crawly creatures like lizards, this is my first fear. As a child I have heard many strange stories regarding this creepy thing that incur fear in me. Whereas I also have an irrational fear of facing the audience in the presentation and even I have a fear to speak my thoughts out in front of people. But the later two are due to my low self-esteem. This fear has developed in me gradually because of the experiences and failures which I have faced in the course of time. It becomes the part of my personality. How is it possible? Your personality is either inborn or they are built on the responses of your lifetime occurrences. Constant negative reactions make you fearful to take the step ahead whereas in the meantime, you lurk in the midst of uncertainty.

There are many fears that stop us to do things which we really want to do. They gain power on us and then we feel helpless in front of our qualms. The only way to beat is to make oneself believe that nothing is so huge that it may dominate you. Every day is a task for us to conquer our fear and that can only be done if we believe in ourselves.

It is rightfully put into words by Ralph Waldo EmersonHe who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.

It’s hard to overcome your fear and I know this very well but there are certain things which have really helped me on the way to rise over my phobia.

Firstly, accept your trepidations it is normal to be afraid of certain things. Even the strong people go through this but giving up is not the solution. Secondly take some confidence grooming sessions, either talk to your friend, your teacher, or counselor who may help you to overcome your phobia. Fear of failing should not let you stop chasing your dream. It is not a weakness but if you try to put your arms down in front of your fear that is your failure. Nothing is so big or huge; it is just your imagination. Talk to yourself, buck up yourself and most importantly, seek help from Almighty or do meditation, this really work wonders It is not one day task, you have to work daily on this and gradually the results will be fruitful At least I am hopeful that for me it will be…