In Solitude, I Find Myself!

life hope 1

Photo credits: Online

A chaos filled inside me

No path is there to be seen

Everyday walking on a rough terrain

With nowhere to go, nowhere to reach

A quest of unknown territory

Feel a useless speck in a large scheme of life

Thoughts rampage and at the brink of insanity

Befuddle feelings and slow mind-numbing nothingness

Scary thoughts surround me everyday

Make me fall into deep pit

Complete meltdown and inability to face greatest life fears

Feed my addiction for perfectionism and measure my worthiness with material objects

No happiness, no contentment still I can find

Little do I know

In the midst of apprehension and uncertainty

I uncover my sense of purpose

All it takes a little digging to reveal the truth

In solitude, I seek solace

In solitude, I find myself

In solitude, I find God

The few lines above are my sentiments which I have gone through in the last few months. On the outside, I looked fine and healthy. But inside, a mysterious feeling was gnawing at me. I felt like my inner fear was slowly feeding on my soul. I was falling into a trap and nobody could see. I went under a cloak of invisibility. It was the time when I started listening and reading the materials that could inculcate some sense and relief to my mind and heart. And there it was, I read about Ishq Majazi (love for human) and Ishq Haqiqi (love for Allah). This made me see the world in a different perspective which I lost somewhere while living a meaningless life.

life hope 2

Online photo

When you love a human, you have expectations and emotions which make you restless and anxious all the time. And with this love are associated desires and wishes that are endless. Your heart is always on the lookout for new things and there is no direction in your life. You are also likely to experience heartaches, discontent, sadness and a fear of being abandoned by your love in any time of your life.

On the other side, there is one true love which spreads tranquility in your life and that is the love of Almighty Allah. It is at the times of grief, one finds comfort in the remembrance of Allah. Love so pure and true that bring calmness in your life. Where ever you turn, you see Allah in every being and in every element of this world. The anxiety and distress are replaced by happiness and contentment. There is such sweetness and pleasure in the name of Allah that by repeatedly invoking His name, every sorrow is turned into joy.

The love so pure gives you direction and replace your heartaches with fulfillment which you may not find anywhere. This love enables you to forget about your self (Nafs) and think beyond your desires and do something meaningful. Your main and only aim is to attain closeness to Allah and to achieve that you perform acts that bring you closer to Allah.

This love is not easy to achieve and you may fail many times, you can lose your direction and there is a slight chance for you to bounce back to your old life. But not for long because the sweetness and pleasure this love has brought in your life, will not let you stay away. Perseverance, patience and tolerance are keys to success and this is what keeps you going throughout the life.

Embrace this love and allow to let go of all the negative feelings brewing inside you!

 

Book Review: I Have Lost My Way

i have lost my way

Photo by the writer

“They maybe complete strangers, with different lives and different problems, but there in that examination room they are measuring sadness the same way. They are measuring it in loss.”

The excerpt is taken from Gayle Forman’s latest novel ‘I have lost my way’. The novel is about friendships, taking chances and transforming your loss into your gain.

Has it ever happened with you that you are lost? By lost I don’t mean you lose your way to home; what I mean is that you are lost, you are at crossroads where you don’t know where to go from here. You are standing at the tipping point and you need a clue or hint from anyone any where so that you can find your pathway.

The story revolves around three young adults, Freya, Nathaniel and Harun, who have never met, find themselves in the same spot, connected to one accident in a park in New York City.  Even though they belong  from different backgrounds, different families and different lives; the only link that join them together is the quest for their identity and be content with who they are.

Freya, an up-and-coming singer, is hurt because she has lost her voice. She didn’t know what to do because this is the only thing she is good at. Harun has lost the love of his life. Nathaniel has lost the most important person to him, his father.

What is the instant connection is that all three are going through the grief in their lives. But there is also sense of fear in all of them. Freya is scared that what if she can never sing and she may lose her fans which she gains in a short time period. Harun is devoted to his family but feels the need to run away to be who he truly is, and Nathaniel has lived his whole life alone with his (mentally unstable) father who due to overdosing lost his life. He is here in New York all alone with a secret which I cannot share as it will reveal the end of the story.

The story takes place over the course of one day and is broken up with flashbacks that reveal how three teenagers have all lost something important to them. All three meet by coincidence, but they understand each other so well. And in a one day span, they have become each other’s strength; and a lighting guide for each other to help find their lost path.

I also like the diversity in the characters. Freya is a half-Ethiopian girl who has a complex relationship with her older sister, Sabrina. Harun, a Pakistani boy, is figuring out how to reconcile his sexuality with his family’s religion. He’s expected to marry a Muslim girl, but Harun is hopelessly in love with his ex-boyfriend, James. Nathaniel is blind in one eye and struggling with depression after his father’s death. All his life, Nathaniel has coped with his father’s strange childlike tendencies: his inability to live in reality and his insistence that they are a ‘fellowship of two like Frodo and Sam’ in The Lord of the Rings.

I finished this novel in two sittings and though it is slow at the start, it gains its pace after few pages. This is the first time I have read Gayle Forman and I would say she writes very well. Forman has touched on human emotion and connection; her writing is lyrical and riveting which keeps one hooked to the novel till the last page. Although this story targets young adults, I am sure young minds will love this novel and probably few adults like me as well.

I will rate this novel 3.5/5.

 

 

 

Love Is In The Air!

 

love is air

Online photo

Love is a feeling that can only be felt by those who have experienced it. 

Love is to be with the one through thick and thin.

Love is to feel save in a lover’s embrace. 

Love is to take care of each other. 

Love is not about saying ‘I love you’ it’s a feeling expressed through lover’s eyes. 

Love makes you fearless.

Love is selfless.

Love is to let go. 

Love is to wait for someone for the rest of your life and believe that one day it’s going to be worth it!

I know it will be…some day!

To Love And Be Loved!

life in perspectiveLast night, a random thought crossed my mind. When I shall leave this world who may shed tears on my funeral. My parents, sister and probably one or two of my closed relatives. That’s about it. I have a very small world which is good because less people you talk to, less drama in your life. But I also felt a pang of guilt that I am a selfish individual whose world revolves around I and myself. My parents and sister will feel sad because I am their blood. So it’s natural for them to feel that way.

Unfortunately, what is disheartening that I have never thought beyond my self. I have not helped any one ( and no monetary help is not what I am talking about). It’s about showing empathy to other people. I am not a bad person but in my life I have (intentionally) never thought to do something selflessly for other person. Not one moment I have given a thought to listen anyone or be there for a person. I always think that I don’t have friends in my down time but have I ever been there for them when they need me? Just to give a shoulder for them to cry on. The answer might be ‘No’… And not only friends, my fellow human beings. Doing something selflessly just to see them smile or even tears of joy makes all worth it. It’s as simple as that.

I believe that helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself. It can be a simple greeting with a smile, listen when someone talks, lend a shoulder to cry on, carry someone’s belongings to the top floor, run an errand for your aged neighbour, be a better friend or partner, cherish time with your parents, show concern to others and be compassionate, be gentle and generous even as simple as with compliments, be genuinely happy for others ( I know it’s hard but need to)… in simple words, find joys in giving and caring for others. Money buys you happiness but helping others will buy you contentment and satisfaction and probably few more people to shed tears on your funeral.

Book Review: After You by Jojo Moyes

“Far easier for you to just stick with that depressing little job and complain about it. Far easier for you to sit tight and not take a risk and make out that everything that happens to you is something you could not help.”

How do you move on after losing your loved one? How one builds a life worth living when a person you loved truly leaves you in the midst?

moyes-after-you

Photo Collage: After You

Losing someone you love is very painful and grief is a natural response to loss. On top of grief and pain, you are forced to make changes that you are not prepared to make. It becomes hard to keep your life in line. You are supposed to look forward and let go of the past. You have to move on without feeling like you are betraying the one you have lost.

I was very anxious to read the sequel after reading the first novel ‘Me Before You’. In the first book, the quadriplegic Will wish to end his own life. Louisa Clark worked as caretaker of Will. Both fell in love for each other but probably not hard enough to change his mind.

In the second novel ‘After You’; Will’s death devastated Lou and she had no idea what to do

with her life.  Lou tried to cope with her loss and how grief had consumed her? How did she tackle Will’s death?

All these questions were brewing in my mind. ‘After You’ is an answer to all my answers about Lou’s life. It’s true that we cannot forget our love but once a person dies we cannot die with that person. We have to move on for our sanity. We need to take chances because we are still alive and life is short so to speak.

The novel is all about Lou’s journey, a bumpy process of accommodation to loss and the fear of starting over. She is stuck in a bartender job which she abhors; she wallows in her apartment in London until an accident forces her to be around her family and to try to move on.

There are two new characters that change her life. Sam who works as a paramedic who disentangles her from downstairs neighbor’s canopy and Lily, the teenager who barges in her home and in her life unexpectedly, claiming to be a daughter of Will. These two characters help her emerge from the dark place she is in.

‘After You’ has taken me on yet another roller coaster ride of emotions. I don’t know how the author does it, tackling death and the void it can leave us but Moyes has created absolute gems; she has a knack for breaking your heart before restoring your faith in love. Her innate ability to describe damaged people with complex lives is just brilliant. One would fall in love with weepy bits and witty bits.

The first series is a tear-jerker where the love evokes a  sense of desolation whereas the second one helps in making peace with the past and moving on and in doing so, it reminds us that ‘Life goes on!’

As per Moyes in her own words: “That’s life. We don’t know what will happen. Which is why we have to take our chances while we can.”

Book: After You

By Jojo Moyes

ISBN 978-1-405-90907-5

Pp 406

Book Review: Dance Upon the Air-a tale of love, friendship and mysterious ways!

dance upon the airLove story isn’t my cup of tea and Nora Roberts is famous for writing love stories. I remembered buying her novel in last year’s book fair where I accidentally bought this one.

Dance Upon the Air is the first ever novel which I read out of her so many novels and I must say she knows how to grasp the reader’s attention. This novel is a treat for all those readers who are into romance.

Helen Remington is the main protagonist of this novel who died so she could live. She was married to the media mogul Evan Remington. On the outside they both looked a regular happy couple but nobody knew that this was just a facade to conceal the physical torture which Helen was going through in her marriage. Evan was a control freak person who used to abuse his wife, Helen for everything. She eventually realized that if she wanted to survive she had to leave, however, as easy as it seem; it was not easy for her to leave this man. Not because she had an affection for him but because he was an influential person and could twist situation easily in his favor. Hence she had to stage up her death to escape away from her psychotic husband.

After her fake death, she changed her identity and became Nell. She reached to Three Sisters Island where she met Mia who owned a cafe in this small island and on that day her chef left the job.  So fortunately Nell got a job as a chef and also a place to stay.

Living in this island was a dream come true for Nell. She also discovered that she was a witch with the help of Mia. She also learnt that she is part of an ancestry of the three witches who formed the island as a hideout from the Salem witch trials three hundred years ago. Now, with impending doom, the three witches alive must do what their ancestors couldn’t. Ripley Todd, the deputy sheriff also lived in this island who is the third witch in this scenario.

During her stay, Nell got close to Ripley’s brother, Sheriff Zackary Todd but when he proposed her she was not ready to get married only because she hadn’t got divorced from her abusive husband.

Evan got to about Helen when his sister told him about her acquaintance who assumed to see Helen’s lookalike in the Island. He knew at the moment that his wife tricked him and he got furious. He is not only now an abusive man, but he is also being possessed by the evil spirit bent on destroying Nell.

Meanwhile,  Nell finds the courage to trust Zack, and contact authorities that would protect her from her psychotic husband. Nevertheless, a week after  Zack and Nell engagement, Evan lands on the Island, and starts searching for his wife. He did find her and went to her cottage with the intention of murder.

In the end, Nell with the help of her witch sisters Mia and Ripley saved herself and Zack who got wounded by Evan’s violent stab.

Dance Upon the Air reads more like the journey of a damaged woman who tried to run away from abusive relationship. The mark of such relationship leaves an acerbic impact on victim’s life. Just like for Nell, it took a year for her to regain her self-esteem. She realized after coming to this Island that this is the life which she thought she should have lived.

The novel is the first series of the trilogy which are followed by other two series, Heaven and Earth and Face the Fire.

Happy Reading Everyone!

Details:

Genre: Fiction

Publishing Date: June 2001

Pages: 386  

Paperback

 

The Lost valentine–a romantic ride

“Love is not about giving up, it’s about holding on to it” a line that really tells about this movie. Sounds cliché but the movie leaves a beautiful, mesmerizing effect to someone who has ever been in love. Love is definitely a matter of heart because logic is nowhere near when it comes to love. You do things which you would never ever imagine to do; though researchers say that it is because of the release of chemicals that incites the magic when two people are in love. Whatever the reasons maybe, fact is that it is still a very strong emotion that is undefinable.

Long-Lost Love

The lost valentine is a story of longing for the lost love.  This drama movie revolves around two women, one is Susan Allison (Jennifer love Hewitt); a reporter and other is of Caroline Thomas (played by Betty White);whose husband was declared missing in action during the period of World War 2. It opens up with Caroline sitting at Union Station, the place where she bade farewell to her husband Thomas 65 years ago.Her undying love towards her husband was the reason that she religiously went to station every year on valentine to honor the only love of her life. These two women meet through Caroline’s grandson Lucas (a character played by Sean Farris ) who wants to share his grandparents beautiful love story with the world. Susan is a television reporter who was assigned to do a profile of Caroline. Susan though skeptical of true love phenomenon also had a long time relation with Andrew who coincidentally proposed to her, but it did not work out. However, Susan got inclined towards Lucas while interviewing his grandmother, and in the meantime she also succeeded to help Caroline in the search of Lieutenant Thomas after 65 years.

The last scene almost touched the heart where Caroline saw the coffin of her dead husband after so many years  and the way she cried her heart out; it just felt close to the heart. However, on one hand, Caroline celebrates the finding of her lost love, though on other hand Susan is elated for her new-found love.

New-found Love (Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sean Farris)

The movie, actually based on the novel by James Micheal Pratt has a nice feel and combines with pure and honest love which is not to make one feel miserable; it’s about living life with the feeling of being loved by someone at some point.  Moments that you spend with your loved one are most precious which no one can erased and it is always with you, even if the person is no more with you.

So, if anyone is interested to watch a sweet and simple love story, this is the movie for you to recollect those memories that once made you ‘happy’.

Here is the link below, have fun this weekend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqlw3dRjsPI