Jealousy Can Ruin Healthy Relationship

othelloOthello is one of the classics of William Shakespeare. What I like most about this play is the theme of jealousy depicted in the play, and is still relevant in the modern world.

Othello is a great and wise man, except for his blindness of thought and the rashness of action caused by his jealousy. He becomes angry when he sees a very small possibility of his wife, Desdemona’s infidelity.

Also, Roderigo is jealous of Othello’s marriage with Desdemona and he is blinded by his obsessive passion for Desdemona. However, it is Othello’s jealousy that brings about the destruction and tragedy in his otherwise happily married life.

The other theme more prominent is the psychological manipulation of Iago. He is the one who instigates Othello against his wife and loyal friend Cassio.

The foundation of healthy relationship is based on trust and sincerity. There is no room of jealousy in a stable relation. Jealousy is powerful. It can ruin relationships and make good, well-meaning people act in ways they never imagined like the heroic character of Othello.

Jealousy can make spouses abusive or in extreme cases, a killer. It’s important that partners should have open communication so that no one dares to sow the seed of jealousy or create misunderstanding in their relation.

Americanah: A Tale Of Race, Love And Home

“The only reason you say that race was not an issue is because you wish it was not. Weamericanah all wish it was not. But it’s a lie. I came from a country where race was not an issue. I didn’t think of myself as black and I only became black when I came to America.”

The excerpt is from Adiche’s renowned novel Americanah. This is a powerful story about love, race and immigration. Ifemelu, a young Nigerian woman living in Princeton, New Jersey, decides to move back to Nigeria after a breakup from her boyfriend Blaine. It was ten years ago when Ifemulu came to America from her home country Nigeria. During this period, she faced a lot of difficulties. The foremost obstacle was her skin colour.

In Nigeria, race was not an issue for Ifemelu, and she was never called black in Lagos; she was Nigerian. Upon arriving in the United States, she was shocked to discover that she had been labeled black; especially a non-American black. This made her start her own blog where she addressed issues related to race.

Other than that, the love story between Ifemulu and her teenage sweetheart Obinze is riveting. Their love story witnessed many ups and downs. During Ifemulu’s stay in the US, she suffered from depression and this became the reason of her detachment from Obinze. Later Obinze married Kosi and Ifemulu dated Curt and Blaine. But when Ifemulu came back to Nigeria, their love reignited. The author knows how to touch the heart chords of her readers. There is yearning for love which is engrossing.

Moreover, the author has also shown the importance of family values and blood relation in this story. Education is also central theme of this novel.

Rate: 4.5/5.

Khaani: A Tale Of Love And Repentance

 

Khaani 2

Few days ago, I binge watched Pakistani drama ‘Khaani’. To my surprise, the story was a true delight. What stood out was Feroz Khan’s performance as Mir Hadi. The story revolves around Hadi who killed Khaani’s brother Sarim in a heated moment. The only mistake Sarim made that he came in Mir Hadi’s way which made him furious and within a second Hadi took out his gun and shot Sarim. After that Khaani registered FIR against Mir Hadi but due to influential background of his father, he got away with the murder. In the meantime Hadi felt in love with Khaani because she showed him courage and didn’t waver in front of him.

Hadi tried to persuade Khaani into marriage but she refused, causing Hadi to forcefully get betrothed to her. khaaniThis led Khaani and her family to run away. Hadi searched for her everywhere and later found her getting married to her boss, Arham. Mir Hadi kidnapped Khaani on her wedding day, but due to Khaani’s words, he let her go. Hadi realised that he is not good enough for Khaani. Hadi started seeking the meaning behind his feelings. He found tranquility at Sufi shrine which also became his abode. In the end, the case was reopened and this time Hadi declared himself guilty and requested for death penalty.

Feroz Khan has been phenomenal in this drama. Few scenes like when he drops Khaani to her 2-sliders-3house after her abduction and comes back to his own home, he cries badly. Also, the scenes of his quest to find true love and his journey of spirituality are spellbinding. It is heartbreaking to see Hadi helpless in front of his love. Each and every scene of Feroz was magnificent. 

While watching this drama, I felt as I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Therefore, if you have no plans on this weekend, I recommend you to watch Khaani. Especially for Feroz Khan and the story. I am sure you will love both.

Sibling’s love-hate relationship

This article has already been published on Geo Vision website. I wrote this article for the website and now sharing a few chunks over here on my blog so that my readers can read. This was a different drama of its time produced by Pakistan Television Industry. 

meri behan maya“Our women are strong but in our serials, they are depicted as fragile and connivers,” states Hasina Moin, an acclaimed writer who has also written some of the epic dramas including Tanhayein, Ankahi and so on. After taking a long break, she started with the serial ‘Meri Behen Maya’; a story of two sisters where you saw the bond of love and support which unfortunately lacks in our dramas now-a-days.

So, what was the main concept behind writing Meri Behen Maya (MBM)? According to Hasina Moin, I feel really hurt to see women cry and wallow over petty issues, and unable to stand up for their rights, this is one of the significant reasons that compel me to resume writing again.

Women face domestic violence, they are harassed outside their homes and are treated as suppressive beings. Hasina Moin asserts that this is not the true picture that we see; she is of the opinion that these women have the potential and strength to uphold all the hardships with courage.

x1080-LeSMoreover, the other idea behind the serial is to defy the wrong depiction of sisters’ relation that promotes only hatred and nothing else. Hasina Moin believes that sisters do not deceive each other; rather they protect each other against the world. In her serial, she projected the positive side of sisterhood. One of the primary reasons to resume writing was to clear misconceptions regarding women, Moin adds.

MBM promoted the love-hate relationship between two sisters who at one moment were seen fighting with each other and at another moment they were sharing interesting stories while munching popcorn.

The portrayal of sisters in this serial was played by two female protagonists who are fearless and lively, and believe in living on their own terms. Annie Jaffri played the character of a younger sister Maya; she is upfront and bold, also expressive and does not conform to anything that she cannot relate to. According to Jaffri, the character is more like me, I am outspoken and love outings, even her family relate to her role.

Whereas Neelam Munir played the role of older sister Zarmeena; she is sensible and tries to cover Maya’s mess. Munir is the complete opposite of her character, and therefore she had to work on her body language, style and the behaviour. Munir shares her experience that to perform it accordingly, she observes her elder sister which helps a lot in understanding her character in the serial.

meri behen 5In replying to the question regarding the ‘look’ in the serial, both Munir and Jaffri say that western attire was more preferred for their characters, the decision was made after having a thorough discussion with the team.

However, when asked about the atmosphere on the sets and how did they find working with each other? Both female protagonists spoke highly of their team and they found it very helpful. Though Jaffri’s association with Azfar Ali is not new as she has also worked in Dreamers with him, so far it’s been good for her. Moreover, the teasing which was seen onscreen of both sisters was only for the serial, quips Munir and Jaffri with a smile; nevertheless on-set they both had a very congenial relationship.

The script was a refreshing one and every actor had performed well. Moin is all praise for the team. She had a very good working relationship with Iqbal Ansari who is also the Project Head of MBM; overall it had been a good experience.

untitledMoin signifies the importance of making children bold and confident, so that no one sabotages their rights and fight for themselves.

Seconding Moin’s opinion, Jaffri also says it is important for young girls to be strong in these times and do not give in. Munir on other hand believes that fathers should avoid second marriage and do not try to impose step-mothers on their children, it leaves a bad impact on the minds of the kids.

In a nutshell, dramas are always a revelation of our society, whether it’s good or bad but these days, where every other drama emphasises more on negative side of our society, Meri Behen Maya highlighted the ups and downs of familial relations.

 

 

 

Don’t Let Others Determine Your Self-Worth

life in perspective 1Care about people’s approval, and you will always be their prisoner.”– Lao Tzu

Are you kind of person who always cares of what people think? Are you always seeking approval from the people around you?

If that’s the case, then you deal with the fear of judgment. It’s irrelevant to let others overpower you with their opinions. Don’t want to complain but people will do talk about you. They always have. And they always will. No matter what you do or say, how you behave, the way you walk or dress, how you act, or the decisions you make, will always be scrutinised by others. It’s the social nature of people.

Similarly you are no less than them. You also say things to people (even though unintentionally) which they don’t like. I and you are not perfect individuals who cannot make mistakes. We are humans and so it’s normal.

The problem arises when we allow other people’s opinions to not only hurt us, but often times, to define us. We develop rage and resentment against people. Little did we know that all this will only weaken us from inside and nobody else…

In the past few days, I have realised that it’s difficult to let go of anger and stay calm in frustrating situation. But when we do suppress our anger and don’t let other’s opinion affect us, we feel invincible.

 

There are small changes you can implement into your life. One of the best things is not to worry what others think of you.

Don’t waste your time trying to get everyone to like you, because it’s impossible.

Focus on becoming a better person.

Spend time with people who can boost your morale (in a positive way).

Keep an optimistic outlook on life

Be there for people who need your support. And lastly, be grateful of what you have now.

Remember, some people will disapprove you no matter whatever you try to do. It’s important that you should not measure yourself by the standards of other people.

You should not depend on the approval from outside; rather you should embark on a journey of knowing your inner self. Question your thinking and identity and define your self-worth.

 

You Deserve To Be Happy…

 

madiha 1

Photo by the writer

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel you are no good? Has anyone made you feel worthless? Have you ever thought why you always feel bad about yourself? Are you doing right? Is all what is happening is your fault? Are you as bad as a person? Is something wrong with you?

These thoughts have all been with me for the past five to six years. Every day when you are told that you are a selfish person and you only think about yourself; gradually you begin to think that you are nothing but a useless person with no heart.

I had been there in that situation where I was constantly assuring and reassuring myself that it’s just normal to feel this way but fighting each day with these thoughts really consumed my energy.

Recently, Oxford Dictionaries has chosen toxic as its word of 2018. Toxic means poison and living in a toxic relation or environment suck the joy and happiness from within you and replace with anger and sadness. And who knows this better than me.

Let me tell you honestly, coming out of it was not an easy feat. It took me a while (read many years) to realise that I am not wrong but I am actually stuck in a wrong situation. The only thing which pulls me out of this mess was me! Yes, nobody can help you until you help yourself and that what I did. And the strength I receive, to do this, was one and only my Almighty Allah.

The best solution to come out of this poison is to surround yourself with your loved ones and say goodbye to those who add nothing but negative energy into your life.

  • Be with positive people, work and relation.
  • Explore the inner side of you which you have lost down the line.
  • Do not be scared to be on your own.
  • Learn to forgive yourself and the one who has inculcated toxicity in your life for your sanity (but don’t forget what that relation did to you).
  • Focus on the goodness in your life.
  • Keep in mind that you are not a bad person to leave this relation or environment, you have only done this for your mental and emotional stability.

And lastly, do remember, YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

.

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone Now!

 

highway-movie-hd-wallpaperI like the Bollywood movie – Highway – and especially this photo still (above). It was released more than three years ago. In this movie, the female protagonist (Alia Bhatt) discovers about life and herself.

There are several moments in this movie which I love; however, what piques my interest is that the character of Alia actually finds herself after she steps out of her comfort zone (in this case: her cozy home and luxurious life).

So, what is comfort zone? A place where you feel secure and at ease. It’s not bad right? I mean, you are comfortable, so you must be happy and content. Being in comfort zone indicates familiarity.  We live in the patterned world of our existence that keep us relatively comfortable and calm, and help us stay away from mental and emotional instability.

Unfortunately that’s not the case. The longer you stay within your comfort zone or in daily rut, the less happy you tend to be.

madiha 4The question is: If you want to stay in your comfort zone for entire life, then how will you know what it is like behind that invisible line?

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new”. –Brian Tracy

The only reason that halts you to not cross that line is the fear of ‘what if’ you do not make it through. We fear to challenge ourselves mainly because we may fail or get hurt in the process. The problem is nothing ever grows when you stay in the comfort zone, except laziness, anxiety and fears.

higway 1According to wise folks, the only time you feel the magic happens is when you step outside your comfort zone.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is the most difficult task in your life and yet this gives you immense happiness.

It’s only when you push the boundaries of what you feel is comfortable, and challenge yourself to try new things.

When you go on an adventure, when you explore and experiment and, yes, take a bit of a risk; that’s when you learn and grow and, ultimately, you fulfil your passion and accomplish your desires and goals. You may have an inkling while moving out of your comfort zone but don’t fret because this is normal. Instead stand in front of the mirror and say it out a loud: ‘I am strong and I can do this, so bring it on!’

And who knows, you may also find contentment and meaning in your life outside your comfort zone just like the female protagonist finds it in the movie.