You Deserve To Be Happy…

 

madiha 1

Photo by the writer

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel you are no good? Has anyone made you feel worthless? Have you ever thought why you always feel bad about yourself? Are you doing right? Is all what is happening is your fault? Are you as bad as a person? Is something wrong with you?

These thoughts have all been with me for the past five to six years. Every day when you are told that you are a selfish person and you only think about yourself; gradually you begin to think that you are nothing but a useless person with no heart.

I had been there in that situation where I was constantly assuring and reassuring myself that it’s just normal to feel this way but fighting each day with these thoughts really consumed my energy.

Recently, Oxford Dictionaries has chosen toxic as its word of 2018. Toxic means poison and living in a toxic relation or environment suck the joy and happiness from within you and replace with anger and sadness. And who knows this better than me.

Let me tell you honestly, coming out of it was not an easy feat. It took me a while (read many years) to realise that I am not wrong but I am actually stuck in a wrong situation. The only thing which pulls me out of this mess was me! Yes, nobody can help you until you help yourself and that what I did. And the strength I receive, to do this, was one and only my Almighty Allah.

The best solution to come out of this poison is to surround yourself with your loved ones and say goodbye to those who add nothing but negative energy into your life.

  • Be with positive people, work and relation.
  • Explore the inner side of you which you have lost down the line.
  • Do not be scared to be on your own.
  • Learn to forgive yourself and the one who has inculcated toxicity in your life for your sanity (but don’t forget what that relation did to you).
  • Focus on the goodness in your life.
  • Keep in mind that you are not a bad person to leave this relation or environment, you have only done this for your mental and emotional stability.

And lastly, do remember, YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

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Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone Now!

 

highway-movie-hd-wallpaperI like the Bollywood movie – Highway – and especially this photo still (above). It was released more than three years ago. In this movie, the female protagonist (Alia Bhatt) discovers about life and herself.

There are several moments in this movie which I love; however, what piques my interest is that the character of Alia actually finds herself after she steps out of her comfort zone (in this case: her cozy home and luxurious life).

So, what is comfort zone? A place where you feel secure and at ease. It’s not bad right? I mean, you are comfortable, so you must be happy and content. Being in comfort zone indicates familiarity.  We live in the patterned world of our existence that keep us relatively comfortable and calm, and help us stay away from mental and emotional instability.

Unfortunately that’s not the case. The longer you stay within your comfort zone or in daily rut, the less happy you tend to be.

madiha 4The question is: If you want to stay in your comfort zone for entire life, then how will you know what it is like behind that invisible line?

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new”. –Brian Tracy

The only reason that halts you to not cross that line is the fear of ‘what if’ you do not make it through. We fear to challenge ourselves mainly because we may fail or get hurt in the process. The problem is nothing ever grows when you stay in the comfort zone, except laziness, anxiety and fears.

higway 1According to wise folks, the only time you feel the magic happens is when you step outside your comfort zone.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is the most difficult task in your life and yet this gives you immense happiness.

It’s only when you push the boundaries of what you feel is comfortable, and challenge yourself to try new things.

When you go on an adventure, when you explore and experiment and, yes, take a bit of a risk; that’s when you learn and grow and, ultimately, you fulfil your passion and accomplish your desires and goals. You may have an inkling while moving out of your comfort zone but don’t fret because this is normal. Instead stand in front of the mirror and say it out a loud: ‘I am strong and I can do this, so bring it on!’

And who knows, you may also find contentment and meaning in your life outside your comfort zone just like the female protagonist finds it in the movie.

Learning to Overcome Fear

A universal emotion that is negatively perceived because it arises when you feel you are in danger. The causes of fear can be many for instance you are afraid of darkness, you are claustrophobic, hydrophobic, fear of living alone and fear of not achieving your dreams.  Everyone has some sort of fear that stays with them forever but at times people triumph over their weakness.

Although I have a phobia of creepy-crawly creatures like lizards, this is my first fear. As a child I have heard many strange stories regarding this creepy thing that incur fear in me. Whereas I also have an irrational fear of facing the audience in the presentation and even I have a fear to speak my thoughts out in front of people. But the later two are due to my low self-esteem. This fear has developed in me gradually because of the experiences and failures which I have faced in the course of time. It becomes the part of my personality. How is it possible? Your personality is either inborn or they are built on the responses of your lifetime occurrences. Constant negative reactions make you fearful to take the step ahead whereas in the meantime, you lurk in the midst of uncertainty.

There are many fears that stop us to do things which we really want to do. They gain power on us and then we feel helpless in front of our qualms. The only way to beat is to make oneself believe that nothing is so huge that it may dominate you. Every day is a task for us to conquer our fear and that can only be done if we believe in ourselves.

It is rightfully put into words by Ralph Waldo EmersonHe who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.

It’s hard to overcome your fear and I know this very well but there are certain things which have really helped me on the way to rise over my phobia.

Firstly, accept your trepidations it is normal to be afraid of certain things. Even the strong people go through this but giving up is not the solution. Secondly take some confidence grooming sessions, either talk to your friend, your teacher, or counselor who may help you to overcome your phobia. Fear of failing should not let you stop chasing your dream. It is not a weakness but if you try to put your arms down in front of your fear that is your failure. Nothing is so big or huge; it is just your imagination. Talk to yourself, buck up yourself and most importantly, seek help from Almighty or do meditation, this really work wonders It is not one day task, you have to work daily on this and gradually the results will be fruitful At least I am hopeful that for me it will be…